Here are recommended resources to explore further on your own - but remember to get personalized help from experts as an absolute first priority. Do not try to solve everything alone :)
There are many different ways to convey these messages. Choose the ones who make you feel something - touched, provoked or pissed - that means they are reaching something inside you.
Chris Bale (INFP) - https://www.instagram.com/chrisbaleawakened
Cory Muscara - https://www.instagram.com/corymuscara
Nicolas Canon - https://www.instagram.com/nicocanon_
David Dayan Fisher (INFP) - https://www.instagram.com/daviddayanfisher
Charlie Shiferaw - https://www.instagram.com/charlieshiferaw
Peter Crone - https://www.instagram.com/petercrone
Bob Beare (ENFJ) - Stop Doing Shit You Dont Want To Do
Richard Schwartz - You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For
Hendrix and Hunt - Getting The Love You Want
Nicole LePera (ENFP) - How To Be The Love You Seek
Diana Richardson - Feeling vs Emotion (also, great books on sexuality: Tantric Orgasm For Women / Slow Sex)
Peter A. Levine (ISTJ) - Waking The Tiger
Robert Glover (ISFJ) - No More Mr Nice Guy
Gabor Mate (INFJ) - Any of his stuff