Writings about what goes on underneath the surface of us all…

The trauma cycle

Unhealed trauma repeats itself in a cycle - you end up doing to others what someone did to you (because you couldn’t defend yourself against it)

This happens, even though you consciously swear to yourself you will never cause that same pain to anyone, and even if you try to do the exact opposite. Why? Because if your natural healing reaction of anger, crying etc was suppressed and repressed, the trauma is still within you as emotions and beliefs, much deeper than your thoughts.

These energies rule 99% of your life. Lets face it: If thoughts ruled, we would all just decide to be healthy, confident, etc and there would be no inner conflicts.

One example about my family:

• my mothers parents were very cold
• she carries big pain(energy) of not feeling loved
• that energy creates thoughts in her mind that says ‘it would be horrible if my children didnt feel loved’
• this made her too much the opposite: clingy, pushy, forcing us to always be together and always be nice to each other, avoiding conflict, denying boundaries
• so I felt … ignored, invaded, worthless … not loved - exactly what she tried to avoid
• and i did the same to others

More examples

Boys that are sexually molested by men as children will often grow up and do the same.

If mothers or other women crossed our boundaries and “violated” us, we desire to do the same, and have sexual fantasies of “making them do something beyond their limits, that they may even regret”.