Most men have blocked their crying. So they are mostly angry, but theres sadness underneath.
Most women have blocked their anger. So they are mostly crying, but theres anger underneath.
Low self worth is very connected to repressed emotions.
An emotion is an energy that wants to be felt and thus released immediately. If the energy of shame, sorrow, anger, etc was not allowed to be released, but is still stuck in your body, it then becomes “you”.
Your life and your world will keep reflecting and triggering those inner repressed emotions, thus keeping you trapped in the same misery, until you let them flow and feel them fully. (While witnessing them with compassion from your consciousness - like being the parent for the inner child inside you)
I had not allowed myself to feel those emotions since they got repressed by bullying in school, a men's culture of “just man up”, emotional neglect in my family, misleading “self help” books, etc.
Crying, wailing, as well as yelling or sitting attentively and lovingly with the feeling of rage has been tremendously healing for me and I’ve done it 100s of times since I started therapy in early 2023. It's quite scary to realize that all of that energy was trapped inside me, controlling my life. No wonder my life was a mess.
Do not hold down or question your emotions with your mind! This is a very common way to live in our mind-dominated society - and unfortunately also how stoicism and spirituality is often misinterpreted.
This does not mean you do not discern between what's right or wrong, good or bad, healthy or unhealthy.
For example, you can still choose to say no to someone talking badly to you - and you can even feel angry in that particular moment - but because you feel it fully in the moment, the energy is released and you will not judge and hate them for it in days, weeks and months after the incident. Any resentment you keep having is unresolved emotion that keeps you trapped.
Keep in mind that because we have many parts inside us, we can feel several “contradicting” emotions at the same time.
Its not something to understand with your mind, just see it with loving nonjudgemental presence.
Its hopefully clear to you that past emotions come up once they get triggered by sometimes very small things in the present. This is why someone will overreact and act like a child. It is the inner child and all its pent up emotions that show in that moment.